So You Wanna Be a Workbench

When we inherited our barn, it had a dirty old workbench in the corner.  The bench had a bunch of drawers that didn't slide anymore, full of a bunch of weird old tools that I had no idea what they did.  Some of them looked like things an old-timey doctor for ladies would use, others maybe for shoeing and/or putting down horses.

A while back, I pulled the drawers out, and found a family of three mice living inside.  The weird part is that all three seemed to be fully-grown-- it was like a couple with their grown son living with them.  They freaked and ran in circles for about two minutes before high-tailing it into a hole in the wall.  I felt bad about displacing them before the winter, but in the long run I think I did the parents a favor.  Hopefully, in the confusion, they ran in the opposite direction from their son, giving him the "tough love" new start he so desperately needs to jump-start his life.  I like to think of him, living in a new barn, or probably just a different part of my barn, he's got a mouse job now, his own little sawdust nest, and he's saying, quietly but swelling with pride, "thanks for the kick in the pants, Nate.  I needed that." You're welcome, guy.

Recently I decided to rip out the old bench and build a new one.  I was going to buy a pry bar for the job, but I ended up just using a regular hammer and a rubber mallet.  

 

Also, in the barn I found a thick slab of wood that looks kind of like a fraternity pledge paddle.  It was a perfect wedge for prying off that top piece of plywood.  I'm going to keep it for next fall's rush week, too.

The design and building of the new bench was very straightforward, so I won't bore you with a blow-by-blow account.  It's 8 feet long by 2 feet wide, and I made it 42" high.  That's higher than a lot of people build them, according to the Internet, but I plan to use it more for storage and detail work than for everyday tasks, so hopefully the height will seem right.  At the very least, I'll lie and rationalize to myself to that effect and try to ignore the aching in my shoulders.

 I also installed a couple of hooks on the end, though I'm not sure what I'll hang from them yet.  All told, the new bench cost me about $47 in materials, though I had some random lengths of 2x4 and wood screws lying around that I used.

Here's the finished project.  Note the Screwdrivers sticker already installed.  The adhesive is kind of dried up, though, so it's not really sticking.  Maybe it will hang in there for a while and then fall off, like we did.  How apt!  Though in a way, isn't the bench itself the best metaphor for being in a local band?  For example, I spent more money on it than I made.  Also, the only people to see it will be my current special lady and a few random friends and family over the years.  And it will spend its time in a dank, poorly-lit space next to a power strip.

Coffee Tableau: Part 3, Table Manners

The stain took several days to dry, due to the extremely cold weather (down below zero at night) and the fact that the boards were probably still wet from the water-painting phase.

 As I waited for the stain to dry, I was able to paint the large (6") casters the table sits on.  I looked around online for actual antique ones (or at least ones that looked vintage enough), but they were generally over $100 a piece.  Too much!  So I just bought these regular shiny metal ones from Lowe's for $10 a piece.  I spray painted them black with a faux hammered-finish paint.  (I'm not sure if "faux" is supposed to be in italics, but I'm erring on the side of pretentious.)

Once the stain finally did dry, it was time to assemble the table.  As I mentioned, I generally followed this plan from Ana White, with a few modifications.

I attached the apron with Kreg jig pocket holes, to avoid having any screws visible on the outside.  The plans called for 2x4s running flush along the bottom of the short side of the apron, to be used as the support for the casters.  But the mounting plate of the 6" casters was too big, so I had to upgrade to 2x6s.  I bolted the casters on and tightened everything down.

 
The eight top boards fasten to three 2x4s running the long way down the box.  (You can see a side one and the middle one in the picture above).  The plans call for the tops boards to be screwed on, but I wanted to go for the same look as our old wooden floors, which have old-timey square-headed nails.  So I ordered a bag of 2" ones from here.  I also intended to glue the boards as well as nail them, but the wood glue was frozen solid, since it was about 10 degrees out when I working on the table.  The label actually said it shouldn't be used below 55 degrees.  Stupid fair weather glue.  Since I wasn't going to wait until April to finish the table, I did it without glue.

The nails went in easily and didn't split the boards, which I was kind of worried about. I set the heads just a little below the surface, but high enough that you could still tell they were the kind of fancy square-headed nails you have to order on the Internet.

And that's it!  I'm very pleased with how the table came out.